Thursday, February 10, 2011

For the love of affectionate boys

Nick in Florida last summer
Although some people disapprove, our boys have often ended up in our beds at one point or another. Both Kieran and Nicholas slept in our beds as infants, as I nursed them through the night. All of the boys have gone through stages when they have ended up in our bed in the morning for a snuggle. (Nick is going through a nightmare stage, so he comes barreling down the stairs in the middle of the night and slips into a sleeping bag on our bedroom floor.) This morning, as Nick climbed into bed with me (while Mike was getting Kieran ready for school), I realized how fleeting this experience would be. He has a year and a half left of part-time preschool, and then he'll be off to kindergarten every day, bright and early in the morning. For the last 14 years, I have had a boy to snuggle with, nonstop.

I realize we are extremely lucky because our boys all continue to be affectionate. Chris and Kieran often come up and give me hugs or tell me they love me. They seem genuinely glad to see me when I come home. Kids get more angular when they get older and lose their baby softness. As they grow up and become more independent, they seem less likely to reach out for affection...even the affectionate ones.

Me and Kieran at the "Rain" performance, January 2010
Family dinner at Marco's
I hope I never take my children's affection for granted. I also don't push it...when I drop Chris off at stage band rehearsal at school two mornings a week, I do not expect a goodbye hug or kiss! Just not cool at school, you know? I can handle that.

Nick tells me that he doesn't like kisses because he doesn't like getting wet. So I kiss him on the top of his head. If my kids ever get tired of sloppy affection, I can always inflict it on my three sweet little nephews, who are just as affectionate as my kids!

Kieran and Garrett, Vancouver, BC (August 2010)

Kieran, Daniel, Nick, and Ryan (Vancouver, BC, August 2010)

Mother's Day 2010

5 comments:

  1. Yeah, I never get people's problems with co-sleeping. The research says it is fine (actually reduces SIDS) as long as you are not obese, don't have a sleep disorder, and don't take drugs or booze. There is alot of misinformation out there!

    We won't have Noah in the bed just because getting our Rottweiler to UN co-sleep would be ridiculous and even though he wouldn't purposely lay on him, he might inadvertently. We have a co-sleeper/bassinet though, so hopefully it works out. We'll probably end up just doing whatever Noah prefers - if he sleeps better next to us, great, if not, that's okay, too!

    I hope Noah is super affectionate - I love cuddly kids (esp. little boys!)

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  2. I love my super-cuddly boy! I don't know what I'm going to do if he grows up to be a non-touchy-feely teenager, LOL

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  3. Yeah, Katie--rottweiler plus baby in a bed is probably not a great combination! We thought about getting one of those co-sleeper/bassinet things, but we never did. Sounds like a good solution. I am SURE Noah will be cuddly!

    Hopefully, super-cuddly boys grow up into touchy feely teenagers! Mine did.

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  4. This gives me hope for the future! My boys are 7 and 11, and while I appreciate their need to not be fawned over at school, they are still very affectionate at home. I'd love to think they'll keep this in some form through their teenage years and beyond - not just for my sake, but for theirs, too.

    Sungold

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  5. I'm glad it gives you hope, Sungold! It would make me so sad if my boys didn't want hugs any more.

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