Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Diamonds and English

Yesterday was my lucky day...I won a $100 gift certificate to the Shane Company from a KINK Radio Station listeners' community contest. Me, who has never owned a diamond in her life. When Mike and I got married 17 years ago, South Africa was in the throes of apartheid, and at the time nearly all diamonds came from South Africa. I elected for a simple gold band because of (1) South Africa, and (2) low cost (being poor young newlyweds). I've never been one for expensive jewelry--it makes me feel too guilty. I've never owned a piece of jewelry that costs more than $200.

So now I'm going diamond shopping! I think I'll buy myself a simple diamond ring...but I'm still going by my $200 or less rule to assuage my guilt.

And here's the "English" part of my post...this resonated for this editor/writer, former English-as-a-second-language teacher...I'm sure my former students can attest to the difficulty of learning the nuances of the English language:

Why English Is So Difficult!

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
If you're offering me diamonds and English, I'll take the diamonds... :)

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